THURSDAY DECEMBER 18
FALLING FROM THE TOP
To all my good friends who follow my blog, thank you for your words of encouragement. My life had hit a bad time. I was in a depressed time of my life. It was sad, I seemed have fallen into a depressed mood. I tried hard to be happy. I set some positive goals for myself. I’m lucky to have overcome that bad time in life on my own. I prayed every day that I would stay healthy. So why did I get down on myself. I have no clue.
I was in my gym working out and I just stopped my workouts. I just wanted to quit. My desire to continue with my workout programs was gone, just like that. I worked so hard to recover from my injuries. I just said to myself I don’t want to do this any more. Why must we always have so many challenges on the road to staying healthy? Sure, I could quit and let the dust cover my exercise equipment and let myself get out of shape, that would be easy to do. I should be a shamed of myself. I asked my Lord to give me the strength to fight my injuries so I could continue exercising, and the opportunity to get back on the running course again. In return I just wanted to quit and get down on myself. My name should not be Nokomis Joe it should be Quitter Joe. I should be on my knees thanking God for what he has done for me and watching over me!
There are so many awesome people out there that wish they could just get around and smile. And here I am, feeling sorry for myself and I don’t know why. On my runs I stopped and asked God why am I feeling this way. Am I not praying enough. Did I start to get to prideful and think that I didn’t need my Lord. I’m not sure what happened to me.
I was so scared when I was in the hospital for my heart attack. I couldn’t sleep. I was scared when I had my hip surgery last fall. My depression had come back. It would be sad if I threw all that training away. I don’t think the Lord would be happy with me. He could have helped somebody else. After taking a good look at myself, getting some sleep at night and thanking God for staying with me, I started coming out of my depressed mood. I wanted to work out again so I could be healthy. I will take one day at a time. I love life and I need to understand that I will have down times. Who doesn’t.
My goals for 2015 still stand. I will continue praying, train smarter, hope my hips hold out and my health stays good. I am doing an awesome job of training, loving it, laughing, fist pumping and saying to myself boy, you are kicking some ass. All my training was right on track! Nothing can go wrong. Just keep on training and thanking the Lord for giving me the strength and the will to show myself that I can do it and no injury can stop me. Running with speed and doing my push-ups during and after my runs. Working out on all my equipment and no pain. I was feeling great.
Then all of a sudden I started to get sharp pains running around in my groin area, in my hips, in my lower back and down to my knee cap. I have a saying, take one day at a time and never take anything for granted. I was so sad when the pain returned and I quit training. I started feeling sorry for myself. I would look at my equipment and just shake my head. Yes,I was a quitter and I’m not going to lie about it. I quit!
I was sitting by myself one day trying to figure out how I was going to deal with this problem. I started getting emails from friends asking me about my hips. Hearing from friends that are also sick and can’t do what I can do, hit me right in the heart. I looked upwards and asked the Lord to forgive me for quitting when he had helped me through all my tough times. I’m not going to lie, I’m scared that my body is in trouble again. There is no way that I will have hip surgery again! The first surgery was tough on me. I started training again! Yes I hurt but I think of all the people who wish they could train and can’t. So I say to myself, get off your butt and get back in the gym. Stop saying I hurt or I’m sad. No more pity parties. My Lord will get me through all of this. Hey maybe the Lord is just challenging me? Maybe I started to get a big head who knows. I better get on my knees and thank the Lord for all his help.
I will stop running for now and put my full energy in my gym. Thank you God for hearing my prayers for all the sick! I hope that they all get healed. AMEN